This is all new to me!

OK, I’ll start with a confession. I am a long term stalker. That’s me sitting on the sidelines watching everyone and learning from what they do, but not venturing out on my own. I have stalked message boards for years without a single post, read hundreds of blogs on dozens of different subjects, all without a single peep from me.

So why blog now? Because This Time I Mean It! This is the last time I am going to “try” to lose weight. There is no more try, no more hiding in the background so no one will know if I failed. I am actually going to commit to writing a blog for one reason….it’s time to quit hiding on the sidelines. I have learned so much from so many strangers in blogland, totally unbeknownst to them, of course. They never know I followed their every word and learned from their mistakes, and shared in their victories. But then again, they never learned from mine, or helped me through the failures. They never knew I was there. Maybe not a soul will read this, but that’s OK. I just may learn something by writing it!

OK, about me. I’m 43, happily married to the world’s greatest man for over 20 years and have 2 awesome kids-a son who is a freshman in college, and a daughter who is a freshman in high school. I am blessed in every way imaginable in my home life. Then there is that weight thing. I never had to give my weight a thought when I was young. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted with no regard whatsoever to gaining weight or getting enough nutrition. Foolishly, I thought that would last forever. Two kids later and turning 30, the weight started to pile on. And on. And on. I have lost and gained, lost and gained some more. I have tried so many diets, and lost some weight on all of them. But then I gain it all back, plus a few extras. So losing weight isn’t the biggest problem for me…it’s keeping it off. Although I have never lost all the weight that I set out to. I just get tired of dieting and go back to my old ways of eating, and (shockingly) gain back every ounce. Again.

SO I decided to get serious about the lap band. I had bantered it about in the back of my mind for years, but never thought I would need it. Surely I could do this on my own, right?? Well after 13 years of being fat and now weighing 100 pounds MORE than I did after my kids were born, I knew I needed help. And then things really fell in to place. My first doctor’s appointment was March 14^th and my surgery date was April 8^th. That must be a record from start to finish, but I think it was just meant to be!!

So here I am 4 days post op and feeling pretty good. Now, if you had asked me Friday night or Saturday morning…different story. The nausea and pain was more than I wanted to deal with, but I just took it very easy and was feeling much better by Sunday. I am still pretty swollen, and I move really slowly, and my belly is like an extra appendage, but other than that, not bad. I am not having any trouble eating or drinking, and today have actually been a little hungry. That’s a first since the surgery, so I take it as a good sign.

I am on full liquids, so I “eat” yogurt, applesauce, soup, or protein shakes. I tried Unjury for the first time today…wow! God bless whoever invented this stuff. The Bariatric Advantage I was using from the doctor’s office tasted like cake batter and I just didn’t have it in me to choke down one more. I only had to do the pre-op liquid diet for 1 week, and that was enough of those things!

Since my surgery was on a Friday, I plan to make Friday my official weigh in day. So I don’t have any idea what I weigh right now….I don’t want to get discouraged if the swelling is showing up on the scale, so I am staying off it until Friday. I’m 5’4” and weighed 233 on the morning of surgery. I would like to get to 150, but my ultimate goal is really 140. I haven’t seen that number since I was 25, so I am trying not to get too hung up on the numbers. I want to be healthy and not embarrassed of my weight. I have no idea if 140 would even work for me, so again….it’s not about the final number right now. I just know the final will be south of 160 and north of 130. We’ll see how I look and feel when I get closer. Sounds reasonable, right???